acquire 2-3-7

Sexual Abstinence


Begin by describing fire (two aspects):

1. It is cozy, warm and comforting in a fireplace, but

2. scary, dangerous and deadly outside of the fireplace.

I want to talk with you about sex. What does sex have to do with fire? Sex is just like fire in that in its right place, it’s wonderful. But in the wrong place, it’s dangerous.

Sex in the Wrong Place

1. STD’s

  • STD’s are the number one reported communicable disease in U.S.
  • There are 22 major and minor strains .
  • An average of 33,000 people a day are infected (12 million).
  • At this rate, 1 in 4 Americans between ages 15-55 will eventually acquire an STD.

2. Pregnancy

  • Every 31 seconds a teenage girl will become pregnant.
  • With today's trends 40 percent of all 14-year-old girls will be pregnant at least once before age 20.

3. What about safe sex?

  • Condoms have up to a 30 percent failure rate in protection from STD’s .
  • Despite contraceptive precautions, nearly 1/3 of sexually active Anglo-American women become pregnant and 1 in 7 will have an out of wedlock child.

Psychological and Emotional Consequences

1. Memories

How many of you can remember your "best" kiss? The same holds true with sex – you’ll remember your best lover. What if your husband isn’t your best lover, will you be satisfied? What if you aren’t your husband’s best lover, will he be satisfied?.

2. Intensity of sex vs. Intimacy of Love

Let’s say on a scale of 1-10, you’re a 4 emotionally, and a 5 intellectually with the guy you’re dating. You say, "I love you" and decide to sleep together, so you jump to a 10 physically. You feel very close, but it’s false. There’s a gap between where you feel you are and where you are in reality. How can you know when this is happening? When I say "I feel like we should be so close, but we always seem to fight." If we’re not having sex, we’re not getting along. You have settled for a cheap imitation of intimacy! Sex becomes a substitute for communication and intimacy.

3. Mistrust in relationships

If you can’t trust your boyfriend to have self-control with you, how can you trust him to have it with someone else? Research has shown that there is a high correlation between those who were involved in premarital sex and those involved in extramarital sex.

4. Virginity can be given away only once

Some believe that intercourse is a sign of maturity. That’s ridiculous. Two dogs can have intercourse. Does that make them mature? No! Being able to say "no" is a sign of maturity, it takes courage, self discipline, and strength to wait. Virginity is something to be proud of, not ashamed of. To give your virginity is a to give your greatest gift: yourself.

Proper Responses

How to say "No" to Someone You Like

1. Broken Record Approach

Continue to say "no, no, no." If it doesn’t work, then share your feelings about being pressured.

2. Sandwich Approach

  • Positive – "You are fun to study with …"
  • Negative – "but my bedroom isn’t a good place.
  • Positive – "Let’s go into the family room."

3. Understand the "lines" and have rebuttals.

How to Stand Against the Pressure

1. Make a covenant with a friend.

2. Avoid tempting situations.

3. Set your standards in advance.

4. Plan your dates wisely

What if I have already blown it?

God offers you a "Secondary Virginity" …

(Go into a gospel presentation)


Abstaining from premarital sex makes sense! It guarantees freedom from STD’s and pregnancy and helps  ensure healthy relationships. Not only does it make sense though, it is God’s view in the Bible. Some think God is a cosmic killjoy saying not to have sex because it ruins our fun. Not! God created you and loves you, and wants only to protect and provide for you.

He Protects:

1. You from the fear and consequences of STD’s and pregnancy.

2. Your mind from the images of past relationships.

3. You from confusing the intensity of sex with intensity of love.

4. You from mistrust and suspicion in relationships.

He Provides:

1. Peace of mind.

2. Freedom to enjoy your mate without distracting mental images.

3. You with intimacy: true knowledge of the other person outside of the physical.

4. A foundation of trust for your current and future relationships.

From Fireseed Productions

This material is available on the "ALL That" CD-ROM. 1.800-729-4351
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