Begin by describing fire (two aspects):
1. It is cozy, warm and comforting in a fireplace, but
2. scary, dangerous and deadly outside of the fireplace.
I want to talk with you about sex. What does sex have to do with fire? Sex is just like fire in that in its right place, its wonderful. But in the wrong place, its dangerous.
Sex in the Wrong Place
3. What about safe sex?
Psychological and Emotional Consequences
How many of you can remember your "best" kiss? The same holds true with sex youll remember your best lover. What if your husband isnt your best lover, will you be satisfied? What if you arent your husbands best lover, will he be satisfied?.
2. Intensity of sex vs. Intimacy of Love
Lets say on a scale of 1-10, youre a 4 emotionally, and a 5 intellectually with the guy youre dating. You say, "I love you" and decide to sleep together, so you jump to a 10 physically. You feel very close, but its false. Theres a gap between where you feel you are and where you are in reality. How can you know when this is happening? When I say "I feel like we should be so close, but we always seem to fight." If were not having sex, were not getting along. You have settled for a cheap imitation of intimacy! Sex becomes a substitute for communication and intimacy.
3. Mistrust in relationships
If you cant trust your boyfriend to have self-control with you, how can you trust him to have it with someone else? Research has shown that there is a high correlation between those who were involved in premarital sex and those involved in extramarital sex.
4. Virginity can be given away only once
Some believe that intercourse is a sign of maturity. Thats ridiculous. Two dogs can have intercourse. Does that make them mature? No! Being able to say "no" is a sign of maturity, it takes courage, self discipline, and strength to wait. Virginity is something to be proud of, not ashamed of. To give your virginity is a to give your greatest gift: yourself.
How to say "No" to Someone You Like
1. Broken Record Approach
Continue to say "no, no, no." If it doesnt work, then share your feelings about being pressured.
2. Sandwich Approach
3. Understand the "lines" and have rebuttals.
How to Stand Against the Pressure
1. Make a covenant with a friend.
2. Avoid tempting situations.
3. Set your standards in advance.
4. Plan your dates wisely
What if I have already blown it?
God offers you a "Secondary Virginity"
(Go into a gospel presentation)
Abstaining from premarital sex makes sense! It guarantees freedom from STDs and pregnancy and helps ensure healthy relationships. Not only does it make sense though, it is Gods view in the Bible. Some think God is a cosmic killjoy saying not to have sex because it ruins our fun. Not! God created you and loves you, and wants only to protect and provide for you.
1. You from the fear and consequences of STDs and pregnancy.
2. Your mind from the images of past relationships.
3. You from confusing the intensity of sex with intensity of love.
4. You from mistrust and suspicion in relationships.
1. Peace of mind.
2. Freedom to enjoy your mate without distracting mental images.
3. You with intimacy: true knowledge of the other person outside of the physical.
4. A foundation of trust for your current and future relationships.